Rachel helps me decide about how I look at magazines

I enjoy seeing attractive women whatever they’re wearing. But I am buying a magazine like this to see them naked, and if they’re naked I want to see their most important bits.

I don’t expect 4 points for every photo – there would be almost no pose variation and it would be boring.

At the same time, a set with too many 0 or 1 point photos doesn’t belong in a top shelf magazine.

The right mix of sexy photos with a good points score makes for a good magazine!

August 2001 Top Shelf Magazines – how much do we see of the girls most important bits?

Since I wrote this, every time I’ve looked at a mag I’ve thought about whether my behaviour matches what I’ve written here.

When I look at a picture in an adult magazine, I am nearly always drawn to her ‘naked’ parts. In a lads mag or general publication it’s different of course, I’ll pay more attention to a woman’s general aura. But how much do I care about ‘points’ when I’m looking at a photoshoot?

To try and work out what I’m really looking for, I’ve taken a random photoshoot of Rachel from Teen Angels Issue 3 from early 2002. She’s a cute girl who might actually have been the supermarket Saturday worker they claim! I’m going to rate her photoshoot to highlight what I like and dislike about it, to try and see whether I’m more interested in nudity or general sexiness / aura.

Teen Angels 3 Rachel 1

What I like

• Great progression from clothed to naked
• Love the glimpses of boob in picture 3 and pussy in picture 8

What I don’t like

• No rear view with knickers on
• No rear view of her removing the knickers
• Picture 11 would have been better if she’d been leaning down more so her boobs were hanging

Teen Angels 3 Rachel 2

What I like

• No more clothes, knickers around ankles in first picture a nice touch
• Boobs in every photo, nipples in all but one
• Pussy in all but one photo
• Three good pink shots
• Her boobs look amazing when she’s lying down

What I don’t like

• Only one bum shot (one other blocked by her hand to show pink)
• No pussy close-up photos
• Slightly samey poses – would have liked to see her lying on her side too

Teen Angels 3 Rachel 3

What I like

• Best view of Rachel’s pussy we’ve had
• Only large picture in the set

What I don’t like

• Given the rest of the set, a rear shot with pussy would have been a better choice
• Her left boob is in shadow
• Would have liked her hair to be away from her boobs to give a clearer view

Set Stats

Pictures – 22
Nipples – 26 (1.18/picture)
Pussy – 10 (0.45/picture)
Bum – 2 (0.09/picture)
Points – 37 (1.68/picture)

My opinions on the set are actually a bit more favourable than the scores suggest. Excluding the five fully clothed pics at the start of the set, we see lots of her boobs and an acceptable amount of pussy. I can’t complain at all about how much we see in the set, the only letdown is the lack of proper bum shots which is a real shame.

None of those are a rating of Rachel herself – she is very worthy of the centrefold, a girl I’d happily see again. She has a lovely smile and I love her boobs especially, surprisingly perky for a smaller cup size. If you’re out there reading this Rachel, add a comment and let us know whether they took any good bum photos!

But what does all this prove about how I look at magazines? I think it shows a few things.

• I’m interested in both the nudity and the girl’s aura / sexiness, but in that order
• I care about different poses mostly for how they let us see different parts of the girl, or letting us view parts we’ve seen already from different angles
• I definitely care if any of her ‘naked’ parts are neglected in a photoshoot
• I’m not always fussed about high / maximum points in every photo as long as what we see makes sense. I wouldn’t usually mind Rachel blocking her bum for the pink shot, but here it was annoying because we’d barely seen her bum
• I’m less fussed about boobs / pussy / bum being in the same photo as I am that we see enough of all of them across the photoshoot

All in all, I think it’s helped me contextualise how I view magazines. Nudity first, anything else second, and I’m OK with that!

Men Only

Men Only has been about for nearly 90 years! Maybe not in its top shelf form of course, but the title’s lineage goes back longer than any other UK adult magazine. Men Only has always felt like a sister title to Mayfair: bustier girls, quite a lot of lingerie.

Although my first issue was during Vol 67, my collection goes back to Volume 50 in 1985! There’s a few cover style eras.

Vols 50-57 – Old Logo, clothed, suggestive, classy

This era is pretty straightforward. One girl only on the cover, she will either be fully clothed and suggestively dressed – revealing lingerie or lots of cleavage – or semi-nude in a way that doesn’t show much. These covers don’t score well, but are nice in a nostalgic way.

Vols 57-63 – Old logo, 90s cover style

The transition was gradual, but there was a definite move towards the more explicit 1990s style. If a girl with her legs open on a Vol 52 cover was saying “Do you want to see what I’ve got under here?”, a girl in this era is basically inviting you in for a free sample. Much nuder, any clothing they’re wearing is designed to reveal rather than tease, and you get the feeling you’re going to see exactly what you’re looking for inside. Occasional sidebar photos but most often a single photo of one or more girls.

Vol 63 – Vol 64 – The brief lad’s mag rebrand

This only lasted for 14 issues. It wasn’t too far away from the end of the previous era, but with more cover text and a new logo.

Vol 64-73 – Newer logo, golden era

My first issue was during this era, and I always think of it as the golden era for me and Men Only. I always associate the era with great bum covers. In truth the output was mixed – one month you’d get a fully nude bum and sideboob cover, the next you could get a cover with almost no flesh.

Vol 74-current Newest logo, return to modesty

The new logo era started like the latter days of Vol 73. However the covers soon regressed to being just standard lingerie shots, it was a rarity to see a topless or bottomless girl. For a fan of magazine cover nudity, this era was among the worst I’ve known for any mainstream title.

Escort Volume 25 – Covers and Content Review

In the last post, I chose a series of top shelf magazines published in August 2001 for a content comparison. We found higher totals across nearly all titles compared to 2017 Paul Raymond titles.

However there’s no way of knowing if this is indicative of a trend.

Are scores pretty steady across a title month by month, or does it vary?

Does each editor have a favourite style of photo, or aim for a specific level of nudity? Or do they just choose shots they like?

Was an issue in August 2001 representative of that magazine in that era? Maybe things just vary month by month instead?

To find out, I’ve picked out all issues from Escort Volume 25, published in 2005. Even by Escort’s standards, I remember this as a pretty wanton era with very little subtlety. Let’s find out whether things are consistent across the whole Volume.

Issue 1

Pictures – 140
Nipples – 191 (1.36/picture)
Pussy – 94 (0.67/picture)
Bum – 45 (0.32/picture)
Points – 330 (2.36/picture)

1 four girl and another 2 girl set scored less than expected due to being “action” scenes of fake licking etc, rather than posing. Big variety in the readers girlfriends, with some showing almost everything in every shot, others only flashing one bit at a time.

Issue 2

Pictures – 155
Nipples – 225 (1.45/picture)
Pussy – 117 (0.75/picture)
Bum – 53 (0.34/picture)
Points – 395 (2.55/picture)

The issue is defined by the 4 girl set shown on the cover, a traditional posed set with hugely impressive scores. 30 of the 117 pussy shots come from this set alone!

Issue 3

Pictures – 147
Nipples – 180 (1.22/picture)
Pussy – 89 (0.61/picture)
Bum – 40 (0.27/picture)
Points – 309 (2.10/picture)

A slightly tamer issue this month, no real notable sets.

Issue 4

Pictures – 154
Nipples – 211 (1.37/picture)
Pussy – 96 (0.62/picture)
Bum – 55 (0.36/picture)
Points – 362 (2.35/picture)

Another 4 girl set with some great stacks was a highlight this issue. One point that shows from these sets is that 1-2 of the girls are often the focal point of the shot, with the others in the background often with very little showing.

Issue 5

Pictures – 152
Nipples – 173 (1.14/picture)
Pussy – 94 (0.62/picture)
Bum – 50 (0.33/picture)
Points – 317 (2.09/picture)

Big drop in nipples this issue, but other scores remain about the same.

Issue 6

Pictures – 144
Nipples – 197 (1.37/picture)
Pussy – 100 (0.69/picture)
Bum – 39 (0.27/picture)
Points – 336 (2.33/picture)

Issue 7

Pictures – 130 Nipples – 157 (1.21/picture) Pussy – 86 (0.66/picture) Bum – 39 (0.30/picture) Points – 282 (2.17/picture)

Nearly all solo girl sets this issue, apart from a short set with a story which wasn’t too memorable.

Issue 8

Pictures – 141
Nipples – 163 (1.16/picture)
Pussy – 97 (0.69/picture)
Bum – 56 (0.40/picture)
Points – 316 (2.24/picture)

The early solo sets were full of frontal shots with perfect bum views, bringing the rear scores much higher than usual. A 4 girl set was infuriatingly modest, lots of flesh on show but nowhere near as many bits – a stack shot featuring two girls with their thongs still on sums it up.

Issue 9

Pictures – 138
Nipples – 179 (1.30/picture)
Pussy – 87 (0.63/picture
Bum – 53 (0.38/picture)
Points – 319 (2.31/picture)

A great 4 girl set with plenty on show is offset by some pretty modest readers’ girlfriends.

Issue 10

Pictures – 136
Nipples – 176 (1.29/picture)
Pussy – 87 (0.64/picture)
Bum – 41 (0.30/picture)
Points – 304 (2.24/picture)

Not too memorable! Some nice girls but score-wise not too much to say.

Issue 11

Pictures – 142
Nipples – 179 (1.26/picture)
Pussy – 95 (0.67/picture)
Bum – 46 (0.32/picture)
Points – 320 (2.25/picture)

Mostly single girl sets this issue – very much a standard issue!

Issue 12

Pictures – 140
Nipples – 178 (1.27/picture)
Pussy – 103 (0.74/picture)
Bum – 44 (0.31/picture)
Points – 325 (2.32/picture)

Another fairly standard issue, but two multi-girl sets again highlighting a key difference. The fold-out cover had a 3 page 4 girl set with great stacks, every girl showing something each shot. The centre pages had 3 pages + centrefold where one girl seemed to specialise in covering another’s important bits up. The centrefold featured one girl leaning over displaying her bum and pussy nicely, and the other girls posing around her covering their own nipples up. So frustrating!

Issue 13

Pictures – 143
Nipples – 203 (1.42/picture)
Pussy – 90 (0.63/picture)
Bum – 38 (0.27/picture)
Points – 331 (2.31/picture)

More standard Escort fare ends the year!

Review

Looking at “per picture” scores, the fairest comparison points, there is definitely some issue by issue fluctuation in Escort.

	Average	Highest	Lowest
Nipples / pic	1.29	1.45	1.14
Pussy / pic	0.66	0.75	0.61
Bum / pic	0.32	0.4	0.27
Total / pic	2.28	2.55	2.09

Some trends are obvious:

• The same Issue 2 contains both the highest nipple and pussy scores
• The highest bum score Issue 8 contains one of the lowest nipple scores
• The total score graph tracks the nipple score graph very closely

None of these are especially insightful though! Escort is the kind of mag where a frontal pussy shot usually includes nipples, bum shots from the rear rarely include nipples due to impossibility, and as girls have two nipples to count of course these contribute a lot to the score.

A huge part of the issue by issue differences are the multi girl sets – and the style of those sets. 90s top shelf mags were full of posed sets, lots of photos with all the girls in a similar pose showing the same bits off. Many of Escort Vol 25 had sets of girls simulating lesbian sex – which frequently show the same amount per photo as a single girl set – or showing one girl properly with the others surrounding her. The scoring for these is more like a solo set.

I think the main thing is that Escort Vol 25 has a clear identity – girls usually show nipples as often as possible, show pussy unless it’s impossible to, and bum fans are catered for pretty well without ignoring the rest of her.

The “Your Pics” section at the back of the mag is very mixed, with many sets matching the mag’s style and others showing close to nothing.

I believe that if the editor had suitable photos available, he wouldn’t feature any shots with under 2 points – either bum and pussy, bum with a nipple or pussy with a nipple – and aim for 3+ points wherever possible.

An obvious point about Escort is that it’s less “glamorous” than many other titles. Girls are more likely to be posing in their own kitchens or bedrooms than a studio and we’re more likely to see them (briefly) wearing high street brands like La Senza than anything fancier.

But, especially in the “Our Pics” section, the girls are mostly young – 18-30 – and span a good range between cute teens and bolder women. There’s definitely a few girls who fit the Escort stereotype – teethy grins, bolt on tits, dyed hair. Many others though would be perfect in Club, Men’s World, Knave etc – I love that we’ve seen them in Escort though!

Conclusion

Looking back at the questions I asked at the start:

Are scores pretty steady across a title month by month, or does it vary?
I think it’s pretty steady, of course there is variation but it is not dramatic here.

Does each editor have a favourite style of photo, or aim for a specific level of nudity? Or do they just choose shots they like?
I think they have a preferred style, in Escort’s case it’s choosing the best shots but with a focus on pussy.

Was an issue in August 2001 representative of that magazine in that era? Maybe things just vary month by month instead?
I think we can assume one month is pretty representative, but it’s important to look out for multi girl sets as these can swing a score significantly. A month with a high scoring multi girl set – e.g. something scoring 5+ points per picture – is an anomaly, but so is is a month with a low scoring one – i.e. under 2 points per picture.

August 2001 Top Shelf Magazines – how much do we see of the girls most important bits?

In Top Shelf Magazines – how much do we see of the girls most important bits? I found pretty disappointing content scores in 2017 issues of my main 5 magazines.

Overall though, it can’t be disguised that in even the highest scoring mag, each picture scored fewer points than a traditional Page 3 pose would. Even accounting for shots to strip, there should be more than enough 3-4 point photos to make up for those (one/both nipples, pussy, bum).

Top Shelf Magazines – how much do we see of the girls most important bits?

I hadn’t done this kind of review before, so maybe I was not being realistic? After all, the girls nearly always start the sets with some clothes on, and even when naked they can’t show all their bits in every photo. Maybe mags have always been like this?

To find out, I’ve found a month from the early 2000s where I have copies of 12 regular issues of mainstream UK titles.

	Paul Raymond	Galaxy	Fantasy
High End / Classier	Club International Mayfair Men Only Men’s World	Knave
Lower end / Amateur	Escort Razzle	Fiesta Ravers	New Talent
Teen Themed (18+)		Teazer Just 18	Only 18

I don’t have an older women magazine for this month, but otherwise this selection covers most of the UK top shelf!

How I score Magazine Content

Club Vol 30 No 8

Pictures – 113
Nipples – 102 (0.90/picture)
Pussy – 79 (0.70/picture)
Bum – 52 (0.46/picture)
Points – 233 (2.06/picture)

Club was quite surprising, featuring a lot more rear shots than most mags. Boobs were almost an afterthought for a lot of the girls, with a lot of bum and pussy shots without her turning around for a decent boobs pic.

Escort Vol 21 No 8

Pictures –  142
Nipples –  157 (1.11/picture)
Pussy –  99 (0.7/picture)
Bum –  56 (0.39/picture)
Points –  312 (2.20/picture)

Escort doesn’t surprise on its high pussy count, 70% of pictures feature one. The main photosets were consistently strong scorers, but some inconsistency in the readers girlfriends and other picture features.

Mayfair Vol 36 No 8

Pictures – 89
Nipples – 73 (0.82/picture)
Pussy – 49 (0.55/picture)
Bum – 29 (0.33/picture)
Points – 151 (1.70/picture)

This was the first issue of a mini-era for Mayfair, characterised by lots of white space and single girl covers. Mayfair gets some truly awful scores this month, and doesn’t really know what it wants to be. Very disappointing despite some quality girls inside. This style didn’t last very long, fortunately!

Men Only Vol 66 No 8

Pictures – 101
Nipples – 93 (0.92/picture)
Pussy – 68 (0.67/picture)
Bum – 46 (0.46/picture)
Points – 207 (2.05/picture)

Lots of big full page pictures in this Men Only issue, giving us much lower totals than some of the other mags. Two girl/girl sets strangely result in lower totals – often when they’re showing girls simulating sex instead of posing, we end up seeing very few vital bits.

Men’s World Vol 13 No 8

Pictures – 106
Nipples – 129 (1.22/picture)
Pussy – 69 (0.65/picture)
Bum – 48 (0.45/picture)
Points – 246 (2.32/picture)

A strong Men’s World issue. Lots of good sets with good all-round scores, and 2.32 per picture is surprisingly the best for Paul Raymond titles.

Razzle Vol 19 No 8

Pictures –  188
Nipples –  232 (1.23/picture)
Pussy –  103 (0.55/picture)
Bum –  61 (0.32/picture)
Points –  396 (2.11/picture)

Score was let down by a 26 picture “hardcore” lesbian set, inevitably censored in a 2001 UK magazine. 17 censorship dots hid pussy licking and dildo use. Each one covered what would have been great pussy and sometimes bum views – at least 25 points lost.

A typical Razzle in many ways otherwise, with the girls either topless or showing pussy by the second photo!

Fiesta Vol 35 No 8

Pictures – 153
Nipples – 204 (1.33/picture)
Pussy – 93 (0.61/picture)
Bum – 52 (0.34/picture)
Points – 349 (2.28/picture)

A good showing from Fiesta, well clear of its main top shelf rivals Escort and Razzle. The main contributor was the high proportion of photos with both nipples showing, something a lot of mags don’t manage. A lot of the girls were already topless in their first photo. The only times we didn’t see both of covergirl Lindsey’s was when she was facing away from the camera for a rear pose, or in a frontal pose when she lifted her leg to show more pussy – what a star!

Knave Vol 33 No 8

Pictures – 157
Nipples – 205 (1.31/picture)
Pussy – 101 (0.64/picture)
Bum – 52 (0.33/picture)
Points – 358 (2.28/picture)

Knave has always been a classier title, more Men Only than Razzle, so it was a surprise to see the score surpass Razzle’s this month. Like its sister title, showing both nipples in the majority of shots boosted its total.

New Talent Vol 8 No 8

Pictures – 162
Nipples – 204 (1.26/picture)
Pussy – 87 (0.54/picture)
Bum – 37 (0.23/picture)
Points –  328 (2.02/picture)

New Talent is an amateur magazine sold for only £1.49 in 2001, so in terms of pure value for money this can’t be beaten! Scoring was lower than expected though with a good nipple count let down by a surprisingly low pussy score.

Only 18 Vol 4 No 8

Pictures – 112
Nipples – 117 (1.04/picture)
Pussy – 60 (0.54/picture)
Bum – 43 (0.38/picture)
Points – 220 (1.96/picture)

A very strange issue, points-wise. The cover suggests it’s very much an Escort featuring 18 year olds, but the sets start very slowly. Rosie is topless by picture 3, has her knickers down by picture 4, but we don’t get a clear pussy shot until picture 11. Laura is topless in pics 2-6, pulls her gusset aside in 7 with her top back on, and doesn’t get her knickers off and get fully naked until 11. After the teasing the photos are all very detailed and score well, but it’s a frustrating mix.

Ravers Vol 7 No 8

Pictures – 126
Nipples – 124 (0.98/picture)
Pussy – 100 (0.79/picture)
Bum – 55 (0.44/picture)
Points – 279 (2.21/picture)

A low picture count in this issue of Ravers, with lots of full-page photos. The overall score is lower than expected, but an exceptional pussy score (nearly 80% show one) is the highlight, with strong frontal bum shots upping that count too.

Teazer Just 18 Vol 3 No 8

Pictures – 128
Nipples – 151 (1.18/picture)
Pussy – 90 (0.7/picture)
Bum – 59 (0.46/picture)
Points – 300 (2.34/picture)

A really strong showing from Teazer, by now in its Just 18 era. Some fantastic girls who aren’t shy are either topless or showing her pussy off by the second shot of the set.

70% of pictures showing pussy is a very impressive score, and a total of 2.34 points per picture made it well worth the time to enjoy!

Overall Summary (points/picture)

Title	Publisher	Type	Nipples/pic	Pussy/pic	Bum/pic	Points/pic
Club	PRP	High	0.9	0.7	0.46	2.06
Escort	PRP	Low	1.11	0.7	0.39	2.2
Mayfair	PRP	High	0.82	0.55	0.33	1.7
Men Only	PRP	High	0.92	0.67	0.46	2.05
Men’s World	PRP	High	1.22	0.65	0.45	2.32
Razzle	PRP	Low	1.23	0.55	0.32	2.11
Fiesta	Galaxy	Low	1.33	0.61	0.34	2.28
Knave	Galaxy	High	1.31	0.64	0.33	2.28
New Talent	Fantasy	Low	1.26	0.54	0.23	2.02
Only 18	Fantasy	Teen	1.04	0.54	0.38	1.96
Ravers	Galaxy	Low	0.98	0.79	0.44	2.21
Teazer Just 18	Galaxy	Teen	1.18	0.7	0.46	2.34

Comparing 2001 and 2017

Of the 2017 titles I reviewed, Club, Escort, Men Only and Razzle were all stronger in 2001.

Mayfair was a little bit stronger in 2017, but it has to be said that this is as much to do with the poor 2001 than the strong 2017 – 1.7 v 1.82 points per picture are nothing exceptional.

Looking across the other 2001 titles, all of them bar the disappointing Mayfair are stronger than 2017’s issues. Even Only 18 with under 2 points per picture – lower than a normal topless photo – was comfortably stronger than anything PRP offered in 2017!

Does it matter?

Yes!

I enjoy seeing attractive women whatever they’re wearing. But I am buying a magazine like this to see them naked, and if they’re naked I want to see their most important bits.

I don’t expect 4 points for every photo – there would be almost no pose variation and it would be boring.

At the same time, a set with too many 0 or 1 point photos doesn’t belong in a top shelf magazine.

The right mix of sexy photos with a good points score makes for a good magazine!

The back cover – sadly missing from UK magazines!

With very few exceptions, the UK magazines I buy have always had advertising on the back cover. Mostly phone sex listings, with the occasional bit of publicity for the publisher’s other titles. Other than early issues of Razzle, I can’t remember any of the UK top shelf titles I collect carrying much worth looking at.

Recently I got a lot of old issues of Naughty Neighbors, the US magazine. The back cover is like an extension of the front, with more pictures of the girls inside. Some girls are on both covers, but most seem to appear once. As a buyer it means we get a better idea of what we’re buying, which I wish UK magazines did!

I was really surprised when doing a cover check that there is a lot of variety month to month between them!

Here are some issues from 1998 and 1999:

October 1998

Issue	Girls	Topless	Pussy	Bum	Naked	Fully Clothed	Points	Points/girl
October 1998 Front	8	2	3	3	1	6	3	0.375
October 1998 Back	10	2	5	3	1	8	3	0.3

Quite conservative front and back covers this month. Even though not many points are flying around, of the 21 girls in the issue 18 are on the front or back cover. I also like how the back cover has a page number so we can go straight to see her if we want to!

November 1998

Issue	Girls	Topless	Pussy	Bum	Naked	Fully Clothed	Points	Points/girl
November 1998 Front	8	6	2	2	1	2	9	1.125
November 1998 Back	9	3	3	3	2	5	6	0.67

17 of 21 girls pictured this time with a bit more flesh on show. Good to see a big obviously naked girl in the centre of the back cover.

March 1999

Issue	Girls	Topless	Pussy	Bum	Naked	Fully Clothed	Points	Points/girl
March 1999 Front	8	3	0	2	2	4	3	0.375
March 1999 Back	9	4	2	3	2	4	7	0.78

A real mixed group this time, 17 of 25 girls pictured but 8 of them fully clothed. Nice bum shots on the centre of both covers, but some odd choices. The barcode is almost certainly hiding a great bum and pussy shot which is a shame.

NN Goes Hardcore!

By the early 2000s, NN added a hardcore section in the centre pages. The front and back kept its traditional softcore sets, but the centre pages now contain a few hardcore boy/girl and girl/girl shoots.

December 2003

Issue	Girls	Topless	Pussy	Bum	Naked	Fully Clothed	Points	Points/girl
December 2003 Front	11	6	3	3	3	4	11	1
December 2003 Back	22	11	4	7	9	11	20	0.91

There’s a split between the hardcore and softcore stuff on the covers, with most of the front soft, but the majority of the back dominated by three large pictures of obviously hardcore sets.

The soft stuff is similar to the older issues. Strangely 2 nearly identical pictures are used on the front and back covers – the girl in the black bikini stretching the bottoms, and the girl in the transparent bodysuit showing her bum.

The hard stuff is interesting, because it is obviously hardcore without showing it. On the front hardcore pic, we can see what might just be a pussy and bum pic, but with the censorship it’s obvious she’s in reverse cowgirl. On the back, there’s two clear pictures of boy/girl sets, and one showing a heavily pregnant girl being licked by a man. The best photo though is the girl/girl set showing two fully naked girls kneeling on a sofa, bums on full view and one with her pussy covered by the other’s hand. Even without their boobs being visible, it’s a great sign of what’s coming inside and that it’s a cut above softcore sets!

Neither cover is particularly strong, with too many fully clothed shots on the back cover especially.

Holiday 2003

Issue	Girls	Topless	Pussy	Bum	Naked	Fully Clothed	Points	Points/girl
Holiday 2003 Front	16	7	3	4	5	9	10	0.625
Holiday 2003 Back	9	4	0	1	2	5	2	0.22

In the Holiday edition they make almost nothing of the hardcore sets. The only nod to it is the girl underneath the word “Amateur” holding her nipples, who seems to be in a cowgirl position. Otherwise anything hardcore blends in with the other photos.

Even back cover girl Fallon, whose caption hints at a hardcore anal shoot is only involved in a softcore set, albeit with a dildo and one very spread ass shot as they promised.

Back Covers in Naughty Neighbors

I wish all top shelf magazines had back covers previewing the girls in the issue. However I wish these Naughty Neighbors ones had been better. Some of them didn’t really show much of the girl or her body, and what a cover should do is show us enough to make us want to see more.

Opening the Holiday 2003 magazine revealed a contents page which is much closer to what I want from a front or back cover. Of course the cover cannot show nipples or pussy like they do here, but within a second of seeing this I know which girls I’m turning to first! With the front cover I’m not so sure.

Naughty Neighbors Holiday 2003 Contents page

Top Shelf Magazines – how much do we see of the girls most important bits?

I’ve been buying top shelf magazines now for over 20 years. The reason I started buying – and still buy today – is simple – naked women. Their boobs, bums and pussies are the special sauce that keeps me interested. Unless there is a secret market I am unaware of, it must be the same reason for every other buyer.

So it stands to reason that I would want the best value for money in my mags – i.e. the more of these in each issue, the better, surely? Let’s put it to the test.

Using issues 5 from the 2017 volumes, I’m going to count the number of pictures, how many nipples are on show, how many pussies, how many bums.

How I score Magazine Content

The contenders

Club Volume 46 Number 5 – £4.70

Pictures – 133

Nipples – 149 (1.12/picture)

Pussy – 74 (0.56/picture)

Bum – 30 (0.23/picture)

Points – 253 (1.90/picture)

The first double page spread of each set was mostly fully clothed. Bums in thongs were frequent which got no points. Good amount of pussy.

Escort Volume 37 Number 5 – £4.20

Pictures – 122

Nipples – 119 (0.98/picture)

Pussy – 89 (0.73/picture)

Bum – 29 (0.24/picture)

Points – 237 (1.94/picture)

Plenty of pussy, which was to the detriment of boobs. Quite a few close-up pussy pics meaning other parts were missed out.

Mayfair Volume 52 Number 5 – £5.99

Pictures – 92

Nipples – 114 (1.24/picture)

Pussy – 35 (0.38/picture)

Bum – 16 (0.17/picture)

Points – 167 (1.82/picture)

Mayfair is a surprise. I expected lots of boobs and bum but no pussy. In fact most bum shots were with thongs which got no points, same with a lot of ‘artful’ pussy shots where we couldn’t see her lips properly.

Men Only Volume 82 Number 5 – £4.70

Pictures – 106

Nipples – 101 (0.95/picture)

Pussy – 37 (0.35/picture)

Bum – 27 (0.25/picture)

Points – 165 (1.56/picture)

A really disappointing show from this month’s Men Only. Two models who didn’t show their pussy, more striptease photos than really necessary, and unlike Mayfair not enough boobs to make up for it.

Razzle Volume 35 Number 5 – £4.50

Pictures – 135

Nipples – 130 (0.96/picture)

Pussy – 75 (0.56/picture)

Bum – 47 (0.35/picture)

Points – 252 (1.87/picture)

Different to Escort, less pussy than expected. 11 page boy/girl shoot with lots of censored pussy pics partly to blame, as well as some shy readers girlfriends who didn’t give enough clear shots to score points.

Conclusion

Some interesting results this month. Men Only is the lowest scorer, with Mayfair close by albeit with fewer pictures. Surprisingly Club outscored Escort and Razzle overall, and the average points per picture put it in 2nd place.

Razzle was the most consistent, with even the least popular bums showing every third shot.

Overall though, it can’t be disguised that in even the highest scoring mag, each picture scored fewer points than a traditional Page 3 pose would. Even accounting for shots to strip, there should be more than enough 3-4 point photos to make up for those (one/both nipples, pussy, bum).

Has it always been like this? I’ll find out! Next time I’ll take some issues from the early 2000s and check out one month’s issues of Club, Escort, Mayfair, Men Only, Men’s World, Razzle – and maybe Just Girls too!

Razzle – More Naked Girls Than Any Other Magazine?

Razzle proudly claims this on the top of every new issue, and has now since Vol 34 No 3 (10 issues ago). But is it true?

I’m going to find out. I will compare issue 13 of the current volumes of Club, Escort, Mayfair, Men Only and Razzle and see if Razzle really has the most naked girls.

Given that almost every page of top shelf magazines has some kind of naked woman on it, even if she’s in an advert, I’m going to say that for this test, a ‘naked girl’ must:

• Be a named model in a specific, fully naked model photoset
• Be a named, fully naked reader’s wife
• If part of a fantasy story/letter without being directly named, she only counts if she has more than 4 pictures, and we see her fully naked (boobs, bum, pussy) in at least 1 shot
• Adverts do not count
• DVD/porn film reviews do not count
• Contents pages and ‘next month’ pages do not count

For every different ‘naked girl’ the magazine will score a point. The most naked girls wins the challenge!

The Contenders

Club – 11 naked girls
Escort – 18 naked girls
Mayfair – 9 naked girls
Men Only – 11 naked girls
Razzle – 20 naked girls

So Razzle is – at least in Issue 13 of 2016, officially the Paul Raymond magazine with the Most Naked Girls!

While we’re here, it was a pretty disappointing month for covers, reflected by some very low scores.

Club: -1 point. Only a little flash of bum saved this issue from the dreaded -1 point for each girl.

Escort: 4 points. The background girls are OK, both topless, one flashing her pussy and the other wearing only small knickers. But the main covergirl is fully clothed. 😦 This is Escort! A bra only belongs on Escort’s cover if a model is covering her pussy with it. Again, a small bum flash isn’t enough.

Mayfair: -1 point. Becoming standard for Mayfair now to have just a girl in lingerie.

Men Only: 2 points. The pleasant surprise for the month. Topless and with a thonged bum on show. Nice cover.

Razzle: 5 points. Main covergirl doing everything a Razzle covergirl should – stark naked, legs open, only just masking her pussy with her hand. Jenny also nice, clearly naked, folded legs. Candy though – the weird thong/knickers contraption blocks any good view, and a full top on her. Almost an excellent cover but bad choice of third picture.

Mayfair

Mayfair’s one of the best-known magazines on the top shelf, and it’s vastly changed over the years. Since Paul Raymond bought it in the early 90s, it’s been through a few different identities, but what’s been consistent is it being seen as a classier title. Yes, it’s still a top shelf title, but it’s less brazen than most titles and is as much about the tease and lingerie than most. The women are generally (but not always) be larger breasted.

Since I started reading Mayfair (late 90s) the covers have evolved.

Vols 32-36 – Every girl on the cover

A nightmare to score. As well as the main cover shot, this era had a thumbnail photo of each girl, often only a face pictured. There’s 13 girls here, but only 4 have full body shots (and only 2 of those are models).

Technically it’s possible to check in the mag to see if there’s an uncropped version of the photo to see what she’s wearing… but we still can’t see it on the cover. So here of 13 girls, we have 3 topless and that’s it. 😦

Vols 37-38 – The ‘some thumbnails’ era

A bit like before, one photo making up the cover, but with the occasional smaller pic.

Vol 39-today – The ‘One Pic’ era

Just one pic has been the hallmark of Mayfair since Vol 39 (2004).

Over recent years, Mayfair covers have been quite conservative by top shelf standards. Plenty of lingerie, bras often still on, and generally not bottomless. Bums are very common though and Mayfair probably has more on show than most mags. Every so often a new issue surprises and brings us a cover with a fully nude model scoring 3 points, but more often than not it’s a solid 0-1 pointer. For me that’s not so bad. If it were Escort it’d be different, but for a mag aiming to be classier, then I can live with a less nude cover.

Escort

Some porn, some erotica, some nude photos are all about capturing both the inner and outer beauty of the girl. Escort isn’t interested in this though. Escort is brash, colourful, bold and very very naked.

I’ve just had a look through the last 5 issues of Escort (Vol 36 Nos 1-5). Usually the girl is clothed for the first picture of the set, sometimes the second too. But after that, there’s pussy in pretty much every shot, even if she’s still mostly clothed. Knickers to one side, skirt raised to revel her mound, it may still be the start of the set but they know what we want to see. Then after that it’s proper top shelf shots.

So what do the covers look like? You can probably guess….

Virtually all the girls are topless, there’s more pussies on show than bums, and most are fully naked. For the kind of magazine Escort is, this is spot on perfect. The girls in the magazine aren’t shy about their bodies and they aren’t shy on the cover. The guys (I’m sure some women buy it, but expect it’s mostly men) that buy it know what they’re in for from the cover and will tempt a few new buyers with the great girls on show.

This is what Escort should be like. Congrats to the editor – keep it up!